When you decide to get a divorce, it's normal to feel a sense of relief as you realize there will be an end to the trying relationship you've been struggling to maintain. However, it's also normal to feel a bit apprehensive about the divorce process, especially if you've had friends who have gone through particularly nasty divorces. While you cannot completely control how your spouse reacts to the idea of divorce, there are some things you can do to ensure your own divorce goes more smoothly. Start by following these four tips.
Choose your lawyer carefully.
The right attorney can not only expedite your divorce process, but also make you feel supported and strong as you approach this big change. Take your time to visit with at least three lawyers before you choose one to represent you. Choose someone who you feel comfortable talking to. After all, you will be telling your lawyer personal details about your relationship that will be more difficult to share with someone around whom you feel on-edge and comfortable.
Make sure you choose a lawyer who specializes in divorce and family law. They'll often have a better handle on your options and the best approach than a general attorney who offers a wide range of services.
Start seeing a therapist now.
Many people wait until they are done with their divorce before seeking therapy to deal with the emotional trauma. But if you start seeing a therapist now, they can help keep you level-headed and emotionally strong throughout the divorce process. Having someone who is willing to listen to your frustrations and offer you advice will keep you from feeling overwhelmed and becoming overly confrontational with your spouse, which will make negotiating easier. Look for a therapist who specializes in divorce, and make attending your sessions a top priority.
Be willing to sacrifice.
Throughout the negotiation process, there will be times when you really want your spouse to sacrifice something so that you can have it. Your spouse may or may not do this willingly, but they are more likely to be willing to sacrifice if you're willing to do the same. Come to terms with the fact that you're probably not going to make it through this divorce with absolutely everything that you want. But if you're pleasant and willing to sacrifice a few things for your spouse, they may do the same for you -- which should mean you get to keep the things you love most.
Trust your partner until they prove themselves untrustworthy.
It's common for people to assume, as soon they ask for a divorce, that their partner is going to be dishonest. Some partners do try to hide assets or forge deals that only benefit them. But assuming your partner is going to do this from the get-go gets you off to a bad start. Unless your partner shows that they are not to be trusted throughout this divorce process, treat them as though they are being honest and fair. If you come off as too accusatory early on, you may actually drive them to start retaliating.
In many cases, you can leave it to your lawyer to determine whether your spouse is hiding assets or otherwise being dishonest. Let your lawyer do the "dirty work" while you focus on remaining as amicable as possible so you can keep negotiations simple and friendly. If you do suspect your partner is doing anything underhanded, bring it to your lawyer's attention rather than confronting your partner directly.
Even a smooth divorce can be hard on you emotionally. Follow the tips above, and you can count on the negotiation process being a lot less burdensome. For more information, contact companies like Gomez May LLP.
Share7 November 2017
Although I am far from perfect, I have focused on abiding by the local laws for the vast majority of my life. Unfortunately, about five years ago, I realized that I was being accused of a crime that I didn't commit. I thought about letting the trial run its course, but then I realized that fighting would be important to ensure my future. I teamed up with a great lawyer, and things became much easier overnight. My legal counsel told me what to do and what to avoid, and he was able to prove the facts in a court of law. This blog is all about choosing to fight charges.