If you have been raised to believe in the innate goodness of people, it can take a long time to realize that your mate is narcissistic, manipulative, and/or emotionally abusive. When you realize your relationship is not going to improve no matter what you do, this can prompt you to want to get away as soon as possible. However, if you want a good outcome for yourself (and your children), you need to strategize first.
What You Need to Understand
Even though you are beginning to cut through denial you have built up over the course of your marriage, you may not be prepared for what can happen when your mate realizes you are going to leave. Once the motivation to "play nice" has been removed, you are going to be in for a tough fight.
People who display traits of personality disorders, such as narcissism, also have strong feelings of entitlement and are often guilty of projecting their own behavior on their mates. They may see themselves as the victims, no matter what they do to you.
You can expect them to try things like:
How You Need to Prepare
You need to go into stealth mode and delay announcing your plans to leave until you can get certain things into place. Duplicitous behavior may go against your nature, but you have to keep in mind that you are doing this for a short period of time for you and your children's future security.
Make a plan that will coordinate certain actions to occur simultaneously when you are ready to initiate divorce proceedings.
Here are some practical things you can do:
It would be nice to have a civil divorce, but unfortunately mitigation and other types of collaborative methods probably won't be effective. You will need to consult a divorce attorney, like Lisa J Kleinberg, to give you specific legal advice for your situation.Share
5 June 2015
Although I am far from perfect, I have focused on abiding by the local laws for the vast majority of my life. Unfortunately, about five years ago, I realized that I was being accused of a crime that I didn't commit. I thought about letting the trial run its course, but then I realized that fighting would be important to ensure my future. I teamed up with a great lawyer, and things became much easier overnight. My legal counsel told me what to do and what to avoid, and he was able to prove the facts in a court of law. This blog is all about choosing to fight charges.